I think that even though Devin is all new to this, I shouldn't really hold back on my experiences and feelings just because I'm afraid that he'll judge me. These are my own experiences, and I should know that if he keeps going with it then he'll find out too some day.
So, I had a lucid dream last night, although I'm not sure whether it was completely lucid. There was a time in the dream where I realised it was a dream, but I just continued it as normal. There was a point in the dream where I was in danger, and I brought Richard in to help me escape apparently x). The dream was one I've had before, in the same location, but slightly different events happened. It was about someone coming after me, and having to go through these familiar places, except this time it felt like the place I was in belonged to Emma, and Richard stepped in to help me escape; he ended up not really saving me though as it seemed he was just as afraid as getting caught as I was, (lolwtf?), but I could instantly change the dream so that the people who were after me 'forgave' me anyway, so everything was fine.
Then that's when I woke up.
I've been feeling very tired today. I had a feeling that since I've been more spiritually awake that I'd be more tired; I guess I just didn't think I'd be this tired. I want to just lay down and drift off, but I have a few things that I have to do today. I have to: Draw and colour Marks picture, Draw and colour Paige's picture, practice a song for Tuesday, and start writing up my final copy of my dancers & choreographers journal AND evaluation... Although I think it's a bad idea to do any more College work at home since I have a pretty good routine going on with doing work at College in Study Plus and Learning Support. I've already done Marks picture so I guess that one is ticked off the list. He wanted me to draw him riding a Gyarados... It's so hard to colour waves and the ocean it's unbelievable ;-;
Sooooo, yes... It has been a very eventful weekend thanks to James, Jordan, and Erin. It's also been a staggeringly happy one, with an exception of today since I'm so so so immennnnsely tired. It's not that I'm not happy, it's just that my energy levels are down and it's harder to stay awake let alone be smiling and laughing constantly (My energy lets me do that more, see).
I think I'm also slightly worried about next week. I feel as if I have a lot to do in a matter of a couple of days and I feel uncomfortable doing it. On Monday there's context and I have a feeling a few people are going to kick off because we have to present our practical work and apparently we're far from getting it done. We're also going to find out what the cast is for Spring Awakening as well, and I have a feeling more people are going to kick off about that as well. Written work is also due in tomorrow, but I'm a bit less worried about that since I know I'm getting work done anyway. Is there anything else.. ? And then on Tuesday we need to sing a song, and I'm all screwy with singing at the moment so I don't even want to think about that. Also on Tuesday we've got the Carmina Burana show, which I don't think is even a show so I'm a tad confused about that...
Then from Wednesday onwards I think I'm hunky dory, and I can continue with my spiritual awakening/ascension; either or... I just hope I was bad enough to not get a main part in the musical since I have so much going on right now, and I just don't want to go there any more. What I want right now is my novel, my art, and my ascension; there's no room for anything else!
Back to all things wonderful, I had so much fun yesterday meditating. It's not every day you hear someone, especially myself, saying I had fun meditating; not that long ago I thought meditating was useless to me and that I couldn't do it. Now I'm doing it at least once a day and with great results.
Better yet, I'm getting such great results that I'm not doubting myself that much any more. When I began watching Spirit Science and reading the comments about some of the amazing things that people could do, I was quite down because I wasn't as aware as they are. Then I began reading articles from Erin Pavlina, and she wrote about how difficult it is to achieve things like Astral Projection and so on... But I'm so close, to everything. Over the weekend I've become someone totally... I wouldn't say I'm different, I'm just enhanced. My whole self has enhanced and I can feel things I've always been looking for, and I can feel things I never even knew existed. I can sense the frequencies and beings that were there all along, and it's both exciting and relieving that that was what I was looking for all along; my home, my family, the connection, the love, the abilities and cosmic never-ending possibilities.
All those years ago I knew something was coming, and I tried my utmost hardest to find out what it was; whether it was good, or bad. Maybe it was a full and true self-discovery that was coming, because it has come and it's here right now. I don't have to worry any more because I'm not being left behind, I'm right here where I should be and I'm here where so many others are beginning to ascend. The greatest part of all is that I can't wait for others to realise this too. If I have to teach them, I will; everyone in the connection deserves the chance to know about who they are, who we are.
It's so obvious, so blatant. But I guess there's never been a time when others have gone looking for something and never expected it to be so close.
