Scene 1
(Rick is standing centre stage. Lights are down.)
Rick: (Shouting) Jenny!
(White light on Rick. Expression of anger. Light fades.)
Rick: Jenny, open the door!
(Light flashes as Rick shouts. Light dims. Scene change of the living room of an apartment. It's empty, but peaceful. Banging can be heard from offstage, and shouts of anger coming from Rick.)
Rick: (Offstage) Jenny, why the fuck is all my stuff out here? Answer the fucking door or I'll smash it down. (Pause. Speaks softer.) Jenny? (Long pause, Rick's breathing becoming loud. Shouts.) Jenny!
(The bang of the door being kicked violently. Door breaks open. Lights down. Lights up, and Rick is centre stage, hands clenched in fury. Breathing heavily. Lights fade out. Dim light upstage where Rick is sitting cross-legged and looking down - You can't see his face.)
Rick: Just breathe now, everything will be okay. Everything is fine. She's just gone out to get the shopping like I told her too, hmm? -- Are you stupid? She threw all of your things outside on the pavement like it was dirt! Of course she hates you, everyone hates you, even your parents hate you... You've done nothing but help Jenny and now she has left you all alone -- But she left all of the DVDS and CD'S in the house. It's all still there -- Did you even check that there were any disks in there? Besides, you didn't even look through the wardrobe to see if her clothes were gone. Face it Rick, you mean nothing to anyone, and the only reason Jenny even stayed with you is because of your money -- But I -- Don't try to convince yourself otherwise Rick... She left you before ... She has left you again ... There's nothing left to do but go after her and teach her right from wrong -- I don't want to hurt Jenny, she's all I have left -- You have nothing left! Just look at yourself, wallowing in self pity on the milk stained carpets, waiting for some kind of miracle. It disgusts me! So what do we do when there's nothing left, Rick?
(Rick looks up to the audience, a solemn and child-like expression.)
Rick: We have to kill those who are responsible...
Monday, 30 January 2012
Friday, 27 January 2012
College Improv.
The room was still for a moment, and neither a shuffle nor a whisper could be heard from anyone in the room. They all sat in what looked like a classroom, except there were no tables, only the chairs that these people sat on and many other chairs stacked in the corner of the room next to a whiteboard. The windows were set quite high, and at an angle too, rays of light shining through to lighten the already dull atmosphere.
There was a woman sat down who was the focus of attention, and even as she looked through her folders and read through some papers, everyone that was in the room had nothing to do but to stare at her for they didn't know each other, and they thought it awkward and uncomfortable to gaze upon one another in the situation they were in.
To the left of the woman was a small girl. She hunched over, facing forwards, a deep frown creasing her reddened cheeks. She wore a jumper that was two sizes too big, but whether that was why she looked so upset was beyond the rest of the group. Next to her was an older girl, but only by a few years, and she sat up straight and alert in her chair. She looked at the woman wide-eyed and interested, smiling slightly in interest - Or rather, like an idiot.
On the opposite side of the woman were three empty seats, and finally, one last person sat on his own, secluded from the group in every aspect. He tapped his foot on the ground feeling wary. He had his hands pressed onto his lap, eyes darting from here and there every now and then, trying to keep focus.
The woman, whoever she was as these young people didn't know what the purpose of this meeting was, had looked up and noticed that there were three chairs still empty. Just as she opened her mouth to question this, there was a creaking of a door behind her. She looked behind the pillar blocking her view and saw another girl who had entered the room who started walking down the short staircase to the empty chair that was propped beside the boy who looked quite anxious.
She dropped her bag by the side of the chair and sat down quite delicately, sitting up fairly straight and crossed her legs. She was only in her mid teens as you could tell from the tired expression on her face, but you could tell that she had a well upbringing by her accent and posture.
As she searched through her bag, she spoke to the woman in a displeased tone,
"There are two guys hanging around outside. One of them looked very suspicious. In my opinion, I think you should get someone to check that out immediately."
Just then, two boys about the same age came through the door. The first was quite skinny and light on his feet, although quite clumsy. He had a wide grin on his face and his eyes drooped. He entered, laughing, and banged the door against the wall. Following close but cautiously behind was a darker haired lad that seemed very observant and vigilant. The first boy sat down next to the girl who had just been talking about them, in assumption, and she moved her chair slightly to the left. He leaned back on the chair and rolled his head about, smiling like a moron and was chuckling just slightly.
Then the second boy came and sat down. He did this quite slowly, in no rush at all, and turned his chair angled towards his friend. He then leaned towards him and looked around the room at all the others. He was the first one to purposefully observe every ones state; dark blue eyes piercing through a slight squinted expression, hardly an expression to be seen except arcane stares and a turned down mouth. Once he had finished, this young adult took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, lifted his right foot up and rested it on the seat then lifted his other foot and put that one on the chair next to him.
The woman did not question any of her regards, but immediately looked to her right with a warm smile and spoke to the boy who looked apprehensive,
"Paul, introduce yourself to the rest of the group."
"Well, um... My name is Paul Locke, and I live just outside the city in a village. I'm seventeen years old and I currently study in the Tech college by Town Hill. I study Maths, Psychology, Law, and Biochemistry."
The woman looked up from her files for a moment, "So you were quite the smart one at school then."
"Yes, I was rewarded first prize for the British Championship League of Academic Studies. Mathamatics, Science, History, and Geography. I got onehundred percent on every exam." Paul boasted, sounding more confident than once before,
"And what about your home life?" The woman asked,
"I live with both my parents who are very loving and supportive. My usual schedule mostly consists of studying and healthy living; perfection up to its utmost perfection."
"Thank you Paul." The woman then began writing some notes down on a file and all fell silent again.
Paul did not notice this as he spoke because he was either looking at the ground or towards the woman, but when he was giving a background description, the boy who looked very evasive had been staring at him the whole time without disruption of thought or movement. Perhaps Paul could sense this danger, and that is why he kept his eyes away from that side of the room. As the boy moved his feet from off of the chairs and gently placed them on the floor, he moved his body forward until his elbows leaned on his legs and rested his lower face into his hands, looking at Paul straight in the eyes with the same expression he usually observed with. His breath rasped through his fingers, eye twitching with insidious pleasure.
Paul's eyes looked across the floor towards the direction of the boy. He saw that his feet were firmly placed on the ground, and he began to slowly look upwards, his expression becoming more daunted as he glanced upon his face. Paul flinched backwards, brow furrowing at the sight of his hidden distorted face. Then as the boys hands lowered to place on his legs, Pauls attention came to his mouth, and he watched as his lips formed silent words,
'Fuck You...'
He then lifted one hand from his leg and brought it upwards, pointing two fingers forwards to form the shape of a gun, and brought it up to his own head. Pressing his temple against his fingers hard, he tilted his head and smirked at Paul. He then brought his hand away from his head, still smiling, and clenched his fist tensely by his face as he lowered it slowly until it rested on his leg once again.
Paul whimpered and turned his whole body to face the woman, legs clenched tight together and hunched over, almost covering his whole face with his hands. He was shivering slightly, more than worried and even more so insightful of what was going to happen.
(To be continued... I promise)
There was a woman sat down who was the focus of attention, and even as she looked through her folders and read through some papers, everyone that was in the room had nothing to do but to stare at her for they didn't know each other, and they thought it awkward and uncomfortable to gaze upon one another in the situation they were in.
To the left of the woman was a small girl. She hunched over, facing forwards, a deep frown creasing her reddened cheeks. She wore a jumper that was two sizes too big, but whether that was why she looked so upset was beyond the rest of the group. Next to her was an older girl, but only by a few years, and she sat up straight and alert in her chair. She looked at the woman wide-eyed and interested, smiling slightly in interest - Or rather, like an idiot.
On the opposite side of the woman were three empty seats, and finally, one last person sat on his own, secluded from the group in every aspect. He tapped his foot on the ground feeling wary. He had his hands pressed onto his lap, eyes darting from here and there every now and then, trying to keep focus.
The woman, whoever she was as these young people didn't know what the purpose of this meeting was, had looked up and noticed that there were three chairs still empty. Just as she opened her mouth to question this, there was a creaking of a door behind her. She looked behind the pillar blocking her view and saw another girl who had entered the room who started walking down the short staircase to the empty chair that was propped beside the boy who looked quite anxious.
She dropped her bag by the side of the chair and sat down quite delicately, sitting up fairly straight and crossed her legs. She was only in her mid teens as you could tell from the tired expression on her face, but you could tell that she had a well upbringing by her accent and posture.
As she searched through her bag, she spoke to the woman in a displeased tone,
"There are two guys hanging around outside. One of them looked very suspicious. In my opinion, I think you should get someone to check that out immediately."
Just then, two boys about the same age came through the door. The first was quite skinny and light on his feet, although quite clumsy. He had a wide grin on his face and his eyes drooped. He entered, laughing, and banged the door against the wall. Following close but cautiously behind was a darker haired lad that seemed very observant and vigilant. The first boy sat down next to the girl who had just been talking about them, in assumption, and she moved her chair slightly to the left. He leaned back on the chair and rolled his head about, smiling like a moron and was chuckling just slightly.
Then the second boy came and sat down. He did this quite slowly, in no rush at all, and turned his chair angled towards his friend. He then leaned towards him and looked around the room at all the others. He was the first one to purposefully observe every ones state; dark blue eyes piercing through a slight squinted expression, hardly an expression to be seen except arcane stares and a turned down mouth. Once he had finished, this young adult took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, lifted his right foot up and rested it on the seat then lifted his other foot and put that one on the chair next to him.
The woman did not question any of her regards, but immediately looked to her right with a warm smile and spoke to the boy who looked apprehensive,
"Paul, introduce yourself to the rest of the group."
"Well, um... My name is Paul Locke, and I live just outside the city in a village. I'm seventeen years old and I currently study in the Tech college by Town Hill. I study Maths, Psychology, Law, and Biochemistry."
The woman looked up from her files for a moment, "So you were quite the smart one at school then."
"Yes, I was rewarded first prize for the British Championship League of Academic Studies. Mathamatics, Science, History, and Geography. I got onehundred percent on every exam." Paul boasted, sounding more confident than once before,
"And what about your home life?" The woman asked,
"I live with both my parents who are very loving and supportive. My usual schedule mostly consists of studying and healthy living; perfection up to its utmost perfection."
"Thank you Paul." The woman then began writing some notes down on a file and all fell silent again.
Paul did not notice this as he spoke because he was either looking at the ground or towards the woman, but when he was giving a background description, the boy who looked very evasive had been staring at him the whole time without disruption of thought or movement. Perhaps Paul could sense this danger, and that is why he kept his eyes away from that side of the room. As the boy moved his feet from off of the chairs and gently placed them on the floor, he moved his body forward until his elbows leaned on his legs and rested his lower face into his hands, looking at Paul straight in the eyes with the same expression he usually observed with. His breath rasped through his fingers, eye twitching with insidious pleasure.
Paul's eyes looked across the floor towards the direction of the boy. He saw that his feet were firmly placed on the ground, and he began to slowly look upwards, his expression becoming more daunted as he glanced upon his face. Paul flinched backwards, brow furrowing at the sight of his hidden distorted face. Then as the boys hands lowered to place on his legs, Pauls attention came to his mouth, and he watched as his lips formed silent words,
'Fuck You...'
He then lifted one hand from his leg and brought it upwards, pointing two fingers forwards to form the shape of a gun, and brought it up to his own head. Pressing his temple against his fingers hard, he tilted his head and smirked at Paul. He then brought his hand away from his head, still smiling, and clenched his fist tensely by his face as he lowered it slowly until it rested on his leg once again.
Paul whimpered and turned his whole body to face the woman, legs clenched tight together and hunched over, almost covering his whole face with his hands. He was shivering slightly, more than worried and even more so insightful of what was going to happen.
(To be continued... I promise)
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Is it just me, or...
I've found out that whenever I can't get my own way, concerning a lack of Devin as a consequence, I get sort of angry and rebellious. Maybe not stupidly angry, just really agitated and pissed off. Like last night when I found out that I weren't allowed up past midnight just because I was taking naps when I came home from college. I take naps anyway, even if I don't stay up until God knows what time in the morning; so why should it be any different now? This morning I woke up at 7:15am when I usually get up at 6:30am, and I was also asleep from midnight (Stupid fucking alarm clock didn't wake me up at 4am like it was supposed to), so how can anyone prove that I need more sleep - Especially my parents!
As anyone can probably tell I'm still a bit pissed off about this, but who wouldn't be if they knew they had been doing this for a long time and it's only been making their lives better because they're more buzzed from the lack of sleep. Yes, lack of sleep helps me in college because sleep makes me focused and boring and most probably very intelligent (Yes, I know, I'm modest). Also, how the fuck am I supposed to talk to Devin for hours on end when I'm not even allowed to be out of bed from past midnight! In my own personal opinion, it's my life and my mind and my body, so I should be allowed to stay up until 6am talking to my boyfriend that I hardly get to talk to anyway because I spend about 10 hours for 4 days a week at college and I now have to spend at least 6 and a half hours sleeping for no damn reason.
I kind of spazzed out on my mum when I got home from college today. Well it wasn't a spaz, it was more of an 'OKAY BYE' type of blank out. What happened is that my mum and I were talking in the kitchen and I asked whether dad was able to pay for another month of Xbox Live (which he specifically said he would, and asked atleast two times what date he needed to pay for it), and she said that he wont be able to pay, which is absolute bullshit because he specifically said he would, and asked atleast two times what date he needed to pay for it!
But anyway, as I was saying, this is going to be a bit shit for me considering me and Devin were going to have a movie night on the weekend which is amazing because we stay up all night and just watch movies while talking to eachother - It's all great stuff. However, now that I wont have XBL on the weekend, I also wont have Netflix, and if I don't have Netflix then how in the flying fuck are we supposed to watch movies together.
Where was I going with this?
Oh yes, so basically, if anything disrupts the amazing flow me and Devin have going on, I sort of let loose like a raging volcano and get... A tad bit angry. You know what I mean?
As anyone can probably tell I'm still a bit pissed off about this, but who wouldn't be if they knew they had been doing this for a long time and it's only been making their lives better because they're more buzzed from the lack of sleep. Yes, lack of sleep helps me in college because sleep makes me focused and boring and most probably very intelligent (Yes, I know, I'm modest). Also, how the fuck am I supposed to talk to Devin for hours on end when I'm not even allowed to be out of bed from past midnight! In my own personal opinion, it's my life and my mind and my body, so I should be allowed to stay up until 6am talking to my boyfriend that I hardly get to talk to anyway because I spend about 10 hours for 4 days a week at college and I now have to spend at least 6 and a half hours sleeping for no damn reason.
I kind of spazzed out on my mum when I got home from college today. Well it wasn't a spaz, it was more of an 'OKAY BYE' type of blank out. What happened is that my mum and I were talking in the kitchen and I asked whether dad was able to pay for another month of Xbox Live (which he specifically said he would, and asked atleast two times what date he needed to pay for it), and she said that he wont be able to pay, which is absolute bullshit because he specifically said he would, and asked atleast two times what date he needed to pay for it!
But anyway, as I was saying, this is going to be a bit shit for me considering me and Devin were going to have a movie night on the weekend which is amazing because we stay up all night and just watch movies while talking to eachother - It's all great stuff. However, now that I wont have XBL on the weekend, I also wont have Netflix, and if I don't have Netflix then how in the flying fuck are we supposed to watch movies together.
Where was I going with this?
Oh yes, so basically, if anything disrupts the amazing flow me and Devin have going on, I sort of let loose like a raging volcano and get... A tad bit angry. You know what I mean?
Feed my eyes to the bearded lady.
It's getting very late/early in the morning but I'm still up. I'm so very tired, practically passing out but I really wanted to write for you. You're at college right about now since it is just past 9AM there. I'm so delirious from lack of sleep that I can't even think of what I was going to type. Honestly, this lack of sleep makes me stupider than when I'm high. I can't even think right now... My hands continue to type though my eyes are closed and my head is leaning back as I prepare for the end.
I just miss you. I should sleep now. Good night.
I just miss you. I should sleep now. Good night.
Monday, 23 January 2012
You gay ho
So, today has been an interesting day. I woke up after a rough night of sleep and Alex and I wanted to play Yu-gi-oh with the Yugioh cards that we got from my old place the other day. I beat him once, then he beat me a few times because I picked a bad deck but I was too stubborn to just switch out. Oh well, it was still quite a lot of fun.
I also had poutine for lunch. The deep-fried french fries [chips] with gravy and cheese on top was delicious. I wish you could've been here to share some with me.
I've been thinking about you a lot, although, I guess I always do. I wish I could be there and actually do stuff with you. I'd help you with your homework, I'd ask you out on dates, I'd do so much with you. This distance sucks, but as long as I have you in my life, I'm pretty damn happy.
I must remember to teach you how to play Yugioh... and Call of Duty... and Pokemon... and World of Warcraft. We have so much to do, I can't wait to spend all that time with you.
I also had poutine for lunch. The deep-fried french fries [chips] with gravy and cheese on top was delicious. I wish you could've been here to share some with me.
I've been thinking about you a lot, although, I guess I always do. I wish I could be there and actually do stuff with you. I'd help you with your homework, I'd ask you out on dates, I'd do so much with you. This distance sucks, but as long as I have you in my life, I'm pretty damn happy.
I must remember to teach you how to play Yugioh... and Call of Duty... and Pokemon... and World of Warcraft. We have so much to do, I can't wait to spend all that time with you.
I really like you.
I wish I had realized what I was about to do today before I did it. Even though I'm high I can still understand what I'm doing... and what I did to you. And even though you say that "it's his life, my own opinion..." But I want to make you happy, and if I knew how much you didn't like it.... I'd want to not make you upset and do it... I really like you and I feel bad. This is an apology because maybe I should've told you i'd be high.. or I should've just not gotten high...
This is kind of an apology. You make me so happy, and I don't want to make you upset, worried or any negative emotion. I'm glad we have this blog. To remember every moment with you...
This is kind of an apology. You make me so happy, and I don't want to make you upset, worried or any negative emotion. I'm glad we have this blog. To remember every moment with you...
Sunday, 22 January 2012
I can't help but smile
I'm figuring you had a pretty rough night last night, whether it's just because you got high or you legit didn't have a lot of sleep. You know I don't mind what you do since it's your life, your mind, and your body, but maybe last night was a bit too far a bit too fast.
Maybe instead of saying: 'Im against it, but I don't mind', I should have said: 'I don't mind, but I'm against it.' Although, then again, there is no midway point between the two as that is how I feel at the moment. I could have really freaked out last night and overdramatised everything, but I didn't; I smiled. I didn't because I know that the last time I freaked out over a good friend who was smoking, our friendship only went downhill from there. So I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, and I don't want you feeling upset or bad because of what you did - Again, it's your choice and your life.
It's 7:30pm and you haven't woken up yet. Either that or you're out, I don't know. But even though I'm just a tad worried about last night, I've still smiled today thinking about you. Even though you've been gone for hours and hours and I feel like I can't wait any longer, I'm still smiling. So don't worry, I'm not going to judge you just because I have different opinions. I can accept who you are and support you no matter what you do. And if that doesn't change after last night, then nothing will. I will accept, and I will support, because that's what a true relationship is supposed to be about :)
<3
Maybe instead of saying: 'Im against it, but I don't mind', I should have said: 'I don't mind, but I'm against it.' Although, then again, there is no midway point between the two as that is how I feel at the moment. I could have really freaked out last night and overdramatised everything, but I didn't; I smiled. I didn't because I know that the last time I freaked out over a good friend who was smoking, our friendship only went downhill from there. So I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, and I don't want you feeling upset or bad because of what you did - Again, it's your choice and your life.
It's 7:30pm and you haven't woken up yet. Either that or you're out, I don't know. But even though I'm just a tad worried about last night, I've still smiled today thinking about you. Even though you've been gone for hours and hours and I feel like I can't wait any longer, I'm still smiling. So don't worry, I'm not going to judge you just because I have different opinions. I can accept who you are and support you no matter what you do. And if that doesn't change after last night, then nothing will. I will accept, and I will support, because that's what a true relationship is supposed to be about :)
<3
End Call
I don't know why, maybe it's because of the way we said goodbye, but when I hung up today I felt myself welling up. This has never happened to me before. You just make me feel so happy that I want to hear your voice all the time. Even when there's silence in the call, just knowing that you're there makes me feel warm inside.
I'm beginning to feel like it might just be the end of the world whenever you leave, and I was wondering: Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? I just feel like I'm getting deeper and deeper into this relationship every single day and there's nothing I can do about it. I want to be able to be as 'cool and casual' as I was before, and I guess that's why so many people thought I was a guy before, because I didn't care for soft and loving friendships. I solely wanted to have good time and piss around.
Now everything's different once more, although only for him. There hasn't been much change where friends and family are concerned except for the fact that I spend more time talking to him than anyone else.
It is normal to miss him this much even though he has only been gone for a few hours, even though I know he'll be back soon? Maybe I'm just worried. I don't want him to get hurt, and the only few ways I could possibly make sure that nothing bad is happening is to be talking to him at that moment, or to be with him. But I can't. And I wonder whether he thinks the same about me. When I'm gone, out, or at College, does he worry about me too?
I know I could have talked to him longer today if I had told Alex to wake him up, but I just wanted him to be as rested as he could be because I care about him that much.
Who knew that thinking of you more would make me feel better, eh?
Whether I feel worried or upset that I can't talk to you, the one thing I know for sure is that I really like you and I don't think anything could ever change that. Not another guy, not family/friend opinions, not even brainwash.
These paragraphs have been a few hours apart... Throughout the night I've been thinking a lot, and I just want him to know everything that's on my mind... I want you to get back home and see this while I'm asleep at the desk, and hopefully it makes you smile just as much as being with you makes me smile everyday.
I'm beginning to feel like it might just be the end of the world whenever you leave, and I was wondering: Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? I just feel like I'm getting deeper and deeper into this relationship every single day and there's nothing I can do about it. I want to be able to be as 'cool and casual' as I was before, and I guess that's why so many people thought I was a guy before, because I didn't care for soft and loving friendships. I solely wanted to have good time and piss around.
Now everything's different once more, although only for him. There hasn't been much change where friends and family are concerned except for the fact that I spend more time talking to him than anyone else.
It is normal to miss him this much even though he has only been gone for a few hours, even though I know he'll be back soon? Maybe I'm just worried. I don't want him to get hurt, and the only few ways I could possibly make sure that nothing bad is happening is to be talking to him at that moment, or to be with him. But I can't. And I wonder whether he thinks the same about me. When I'm gone, out, or at College, does he worry about me too?
I know I could have talked to him longer today if I had told Alex to wake him up, but I just wanted him to be as rested as he could be because I care about him that much.
Who knew that thinking of you more would make me feel better, eh?
Whether I feel worried or upset that I can't talk to you, the one thing I know for sure is that I really like you and I don't think anything could ever change that. Not another guy, not family/friend opinions, not even brainwash.
I hope that one day when I wake up, I'll wake up next to you.
These paragraphs have been a few hours apart... Throughout the night I've been thinking a lot, and I just want him to know everything that's on my mind... I want you to get back home and see this while I'm asleep at the desk, and hopefully it makes you smile just as much as being with you makes me smile everyday.
Friday, 20 January 2012
Popping My Blog Cherry
Hello, my name is Devin and I am an 18 year old Canadian man. I really like the author of this blog and everything written on this page and I read every post. I'm so glad to meet the author, she is fantastic. Whenever I actually have something to post, I will post.
Every single one of my posts will be for Her.
Every single one of my posts will be for Her.
While You Sleep
Today I've learned that I have a pretty short attention span. For example, I was making a cup of tea a few hours ago, and just because my mind was preoccupied about thinking of other things, I nearly put the wet teabag in the fridge instead of the bin.
And then, again, when I was stirring my tea, it all splashed out of the cup. Then as I went to clean it up, the spoon fell in the sink instead of in the drying tub/basket/thing (Whatever the fuck it's called).
All because I was thinking of you.
I'm supposed to be taking a nap right now because I might not stay up late enough to watch the whole film with you tonight, but I just couldn't fall asleep. I have Stellar stuck in my head, and I also wanted to practice 'Why - Secondhand Serenade', and then after my sister was sent to bed about fifteen minutes ago, all I wanted to do was write.
It's a good thing, writing, and I haven't been able to do it properly in a while. I didn't think I was able to, because whenever I speak to you or write to you (or about you), my sentences get all jumbled up and I start making up words just to fill in the spaces where my mind has gone blank. I know that we're supposed to be slowing down, but I can't help thinking about you, and it's hard not to backtrack when we've already been running at full speed - It's kind of hard to find your way back when you've already gone so far that you don't know where you came from.
But I really like you, and that's all that matters as long as we're trying.
And then, again, when I was stirring my tea, it all splashed out of the cup. Then as I went to clean it up, the spoon fell in the sink instead of in the drying tub/basket/thing (Whatever the fuck it's called).
All because I was thinking of you.
I'm supposed to be taking a nap right now because I might not stay up late enough to watch the whole film with you tonight, but I just couldn't fall asleep. I have Stellar stuck in my head, and I also wanted to practice 'Why - Secondhand Serenade', and then after my sister was sent to bed about fifteen minutes ago, all I wanted to do was write.
It's a good thing, writing, and I haven't been able to do it properly in a while. I didn't think I was able to, because whenever I speak to you or write to you (or about you), my sentences get all jumbled up and I start making up words just to fill in the spaces where my mind has gone blank. I know that we're supposed to be slowing down, but I can't help thinking about you, and it's hard not to backtrack when we've already been running at full speed - It's kind of hard to find your way back when you've already gone so far that you don't know where you came from.
But I really like you, and that's all that matters as long as we're trying.
Leigh the Testicle Hunter
I used to hate home life. This was about four years ago, but the fact of the matter is that you shouldn't hate home life whether you live with your family, or with a friend, or if you live on your own. Home should be where you have the best of times, not where you feel like you're trapped in some sort of cage forever to be surrounded by misery and hatred. And I know I may seem ignorant at this point because some people can't help having a crap life at home just because your parents aren't as nice as you would like them to be, or maybe you have siblings that seem to torture you, or maybe something happened at home recently that was inevitable but tragic.
You can't help these things, especially when you're a teenager because everything just feels like your whole life is spiralling down into one big giant abyss; You will experience this in some sort of manner sooner or later. I have to admit that I have had a couple of pretty big downfalls in my life, but that's the past, and I blame it on myself for being selfish. When you get older, you realize that not everything is one big drama, not everything needs to be taken seriously, and not everyone is trying to bring you down just because they're evil bastards that need a knife up their ass. Seriously... They don't.
When you get a bit older, you'll loosen up bit. Even now that I'm in college, I only know two people in my whole course that don't freak out about anything: Me, and my friend Mark. And by anything, I mean absolutely anything. We're so chilled out that we ended up handing in our first business assignment two weeks late, even though for me it was three weeks late because I was too lazy to do it the weekend before (Well, I wasn't being lazy, I was just really agitated because a certain someone was away, and I couldn't speak to them so my reaction was to go hyper crazy and rebel against everything I could - But in a random way of course, none of this was stressed or in anger).
My point is that if someone calls you a bitch, says something that offends you (Or even your whole ethnicity), then you shouldn't stress about it. Just take it on the head, especially if they're your friends because about 98% of the time they're going to be pissing around. They don't mean to be fucking with your head until you want to shoot them, or trying to make you get so angry that you end up punching a wall and break a few knuckles - Trust me, I know people like that, and that much negativity is not good for you.
Me and Mark fuck with our friends some of the time, and even more so with each other because it's fun, and everyone deserves a laugh. He even said to me one day, "By the end of the college year everyone is going to hate us because we're like this all the time."... I agree, but that's only because I'm happy all of the time, even from right at the start of the college year, which is probably why me and Mark are pretty good friends. I was having a right old jolly good time on Thursday afternoon when our college course was watching the Music course perform because me and Jacob were sat behind Mark and decided to fuck with Mark the whole time.
Of course I'm not saying to be totally insensitive towards other peoples feelings and to completely ignore their pleads for you to stop taking the piss, I'm just saying that if you're on the recieving end, calm down and think for a moment: Do you really need to be getting this angry, or upset? Do you really need to react so dramatically? No... So all there is to do now is calm your tits and get on with the day. Simple.
So, home life. I guess it's been better, but I can't really judge that considering I spend most of my time upstairs now. But it's not like I don't get on with my parents and little sister, I just don't spend my entire day downstairs doing nothing. We're a pretty close home family, and I feel really lucky to have such loving parents and a little sister who does as she's told for the majority of the time. (Jessica, if I ever show you this, then I'm sorry but being bossy is my job, and I used to get alot worse from Alex and Zoe. Besides, I have a more personal life... You'll understand when you're older.)
So recently my parents had to make a pretty difficult decision. My mum bought a puppy Border Collie called Chelsea when I was 5, about 12 years ago, and so as you can guess she was getting to the point where she was getting blind and couldn't hear too much. Still, she was a very bouncy and energetic OldPuppyLady, but she was incontinent, and that's not exactly very nice for a two year old and a five year old running around the house. My eldest sister, Jennifer, took Chelsea in about two years ago because she was too old to come with me and my parents when we moved house. So now Chelsea has been put down, and she will be greatly missed.
On the subject of pets, there was another blow to the head when my parents told me and my sister the bad news about Chelsea. About nearly a year ago now, we got a new puppy called Willow, she's a Bull Noodle. (a Bulldog cross Newfoundland cross Poodle - She has a Newfoundland face with the body structure of a Poodle and fur like a Bulldog/Newfoundland.) The bad news is that she has bad behavior problems, and even though we've raised her the exact same as our four year old Miniature Schnauzer, Sofie, she's aggressive and way too bouncy. My parents didn't know what to do, so they contacted the RSPCA, and the only thing the RSPCA said to do was to put her down. She's just a puppy still, but we can't even let her wonder around the house anymore because she just headbutts Sofie and she even growled at me the other day. She has done it before, but dad caught her doing it last time, so I had to admit to it. We all pay alot of attention to her, and she gets sufficient food and water everyday, so I don't understand why she could be so aggressive apart from the fact that there might be something wrong with her because of all of the breeds.
At the end of the day, it's the best thing we can do, and anyway 2012 is going to be amazing. In March, we're getting a puppy Beagle, and she's going to be a predigree dog like Sofie, so hopefully there wont be any difficulties. We've also got a bunny called Yubi and she's got to be the most adorable bunny I've ever seen. She's going to be used for breeding in the Spring as my mum wants to start a business. My dad is also going to be selling wicker figures late 2012 aswell, so that should be fun apart from the amazingness of looking after all the little bunnys and giving them names and taking pictures... It's going to be awesome!
So that's my entire home life, not including the things I do on the laptop, because that's just another story that's going to last another ten paragraphs, maybe more.
You can't help these things, especially when you're a teenager because everything just feels like your whole life is spiralling down into one big giant abyss; You will experience this in some sort of manner sooner or later. I have to admit that I have had a couple of pretty big downfalls in my life, but that's the past, and I blame it on myself for being selfish. When you get older, you realize that not everything is one big drama, not everything needs to be taken seriously, and not everyone is trying to bring you down just because they're evil bastards that need a knife up their ass. Seriously... They don't.
When you get a bit older, you'll loosen up bit. Even now that I'm in college, I only know two people in my whole course that don't freak out about anything: Me, and my friend Mark. And by anything, I mean absolutely anything. We're so chilled out that we ended up handing in our first business assignment two weeks late, even though for me it was three weeks late because I was too lazy to do it the weekend before (Well, I wasn't being lazy, I was just really agitated because a certain someone was away, and I couldn't speak to them so my reaction was to go hyper crazy and rebel against everything I could - But in a random way of course, none of this was stressed or in anger).
My point is that if someone calls you a bitch, says something that offends you (Or even your whole ethnicity), then you shouldn't stress about it. Just take it on the head, especially if they're your friends because about 98% of the time they're going to be pissing around. They don't mean to be fucking with your head until you want to shoot them, or trying to make you get so angry that you end up punching a wall and break a few knuckles - Trust me, I know people like that, and that much negativity is not good for you.
Me and Mark fuck with our friends some of the time, and even more so with each other because it's fun, and everyone deserves a laugh. He even said to me one day, "By the end of the college year everyone is going to hate us because we're like this all the time."... I agree, but that's only because I'm happy all of the time, even from right at the start of the college year, which is probably why me and Mark are pretty good friends. I was having a right old jolly good time on Thursday afternoon when our college course was watching the Music course perform because me and Jacob were sat behind Mark and decided to fuck with Mark the whole time.
Of course I'm not saying to be totally insensitive towards other peoples feelings and to completely ignore their pleads for you to stop taking the piss, I'm just saying that if you're on the recieving end, calm down and think for a moment: Do you really need to be getting this angry, or upset? Do you really need to react so dramatically? No... So all there is to do now is calm your tits and get on with the day. Simple.
So, home life. I guess it's been better, but I can't really judge that considering I spend most of my time upstairs now. But it's not like I don't get on with my parents and little sister, I just don't spend my entire day downstairs doing nothing. We're a pretty close home family, and I feel really lucky to have such loving parents and a little sister who does as she's told for the majority of the time. (Jessica, if I ever show you this, then I'm sorry but being bossy is my job, and I used to get alot worse from Alex and Zoe. Besides, I have a more personal life... You'll understand when you're older.)
So recently my parents had to make a pretty difficult decision. My mum bought a puppy Border Collie called Chelsea when I was 5, about 12 years ago, and so as you can guess she was getting to the point where she was getting blind and couldn't hear too much. Still, she was a very bouncy and energetic OldPuppyLady, but she was incontinent, and that's not exactly very nice for a two year old and a five year old running around the house. My eldest sister, Jennifer, took Chelsea in about two years ago because she was too old to come with me and my parents when we moved house. So now Chelsea has been put down, and she will be greatly missed.
On the subject of pets, there was another blow to the head when my parents told me and my sister the bad news about Chelsea. About nearly a year ago now, we got a new puppy called Willow, she's a Bull Noodle. (a Bulldog cross Newfoundland cross Poodle - She has a Newfoundland face with the body structure of a Poodle and fur like a Bulldog/Newfoundland.) The bad news is that she has bad behavior problems, and even though we've raised her the exact same as our four year old Miniature Schnauzer, Sofie, she's aggressive and way too bouncy. My parents didn't know what to do, so they contacted the RSPCA, and the only thing the RSPCA said to do was to put her down. She's just a puppy still, but we can't even let her wonder around the house anymore because she just headbutts Sofie and she even growled at me the other day. She has done it before, but dad caught her doing it last time, so I had to admit to it. We all pay alot of attention to her, and she gets sufficient food and water everyday, so I don't understand why she could be so aggressive apart from the fact that there might be something wrong with her because of all of the breeds.
At the end of the day, it's the best thing we can do, and anyway 2012 is going to be amazing. In March, we're getting a puppy Beagle, and she's going to be a predigree dog like Sofie, so hopefully there wont be any difficulties. We've also got a bunny called Yubi and she's got to be the most adorable bunny I've ever seen. She's going to be used for breeding in the Spring as my mum wants to start a business. My dad is also going to be selling wicker figures late 2012 aswell, so that should be fun apart from the amazingness of looking after all the little bunnys and giving them names and taking pictures... It's going to be awesome!
So that's my entire home life, not including the things I do on the laptop, because that's just another story that's going to last another ten paragraphs, maybe more.
I Made This Blog Just For You
I've been wanting to get another diary for a while, but I guess I just keep forgetting to get some money from my mum to pick up a notebook... Or maybe I just feel bad because I would rather she spent that money on other things that are more important. But moving on from that; I just thought that a blog would be good to keep a record of everything that happens in life. It kind of sucks because I do prefer writing things down, but I guess a keyboard will have to suffice.
So very recently I've been playing on this game called Minecraft. I would say that by now, I've been playing on it for about three months, maybe a bit more. It started out on some Classic servers, which is basically the free version of Minecraft, and eventually after about a week, I found this server called AlterGaming. I went there every day, and I guess it just stuck. It was only after a couple of weeks of playing on the server that I actually started to talk to people, and started to make friends. I was very dedicated to building, and so I never really found an interest in socializing. However, I found that this server was actually really friendly and it was actually tonnes of fun talking to the people there.
I have to admit that it felt kind of intimidating trying to talk to others that were a higher rank than me. I felt like an ant in a spiders web - Well, maybe that was a crap example, but you get what I mean. I felt welcome, just less experienced, like a child among young adults.
And then, in early November I got Beta Minecraft, so I could then play on the AlterGaming beta server, and it was amazing. I was so addicted that I eventually totally lost interest in Classic. Then I guess just the same as Classic, I stopped building as much and was just socializing constantly. I have to admit that I have an awesome Treehouse in progress, but I've hardly even started the branches. You get my point?
By the time it was coming upto christmas, I had already made so many new friends. The main two were Stoneagle and HitlerHater (a.k.a - Jared).
Even though it would have been nice to be more dedicated to the actual game, I'm so glad that I did more socializing than anything else, because by christmas I was voted to be a moderator on the server. I was so amazed that I was actually that popular (Apart from the fact that my mod application looked very professional ahem ahem), and nothing but benefit has come out of this.
So, on the 5th of January 2012 (2:15am) I started talking to someone from AlterGaming called Alchemized. I had spoken to him a couple of times on the classic server, but it was only when I was asking questions. I could tell he was quite high up, and as I mentioned before I used to avoid talking to those in higher ranks because I didn't want to seem desparate for attention (Like a child among young adults, right?).
So you'll never guess what happened when I got the promotion to Moderator on the Beta server. I got to know those who I didn't get the chance to talk to before (Like Gnar, Fang, Segris, Alch etc.), and that's when me and Alchemized started talking a lot more, and we became friends pretty quickly.
It all happened very quickly if I were to be honest. It was like one day we were innocently trying to find our way to his house in Minecraft (Me constantly getting lost and getting stuck in holes I might add), and the next thing I knew we were... Well, this:
Boudreau Devin: I feel good
Boudreau Devin: I got to talk to this beautiful, awesome British Pandasaur
Vex Skyler: D: *is jealous*
Boudreau Devin: Why?
Boudreau Devin: You just have to look in the mirror...
Vex Skyler: Whoever that person is in the mirror, Ima have to kill her now
Boudreau Devin: Why? I really don't want you to...
Boudreau Devin: I like talking to her a lot :D
Boudreau Devin: She's really nice.
Boudreau Devin: And funneh.
Vex Skyler: Well maybe Im talking to this amazing and incredibly handsome canadian guy right now.
Boudreau Devin: Ha. handsome?
Boudreau Devin: Well, now that I have my haircut...
Boudreau Devin: Oh wait
Boudreau Devin: Amazing and incredibly handsome
Boudreau Devin: WHO IS HE
Boudreau Devin: I would love to meet him
Boudreau Devin: and kick his ass...
Vex Skyler: But you musn't :x
Boudreau Devin: Why not?
Vex Skyler: Because his butt is too smexy
Boudreau Devin: Not as smexy as yours I bet.
Boudreau Devin: He's a douche, you should look into finding a new guy, mayhap, Me?
Vex Skyler: xL
Vex Skyler: Mebbe :3
Boudreau Devin: My smile just doubled in size
Seems like a long ass fucking conversation, but my point is that this was the next day, and then five days later we just decided to officially get together.
I haven't really said much about him, but I guess the only way to explain it is to say; You know one day when your stomach starts to slowly get painful, and you have no idea why. You start to get kind of dizzy, but there's no reason to be because you know you're perfectly healthy. I guess that's when you know. He knows, so I guess we both know. And you wont know unless you absolutely know what I'm talking about, because if this is making no sense to you at all, then you don't.
All you need to know right now, just in case you don't know, is that you will find out, you will know when it happens, and when it does you are going to feel like the luckiest person on Earth, just because you know.
So very recently I've been playing on this game called Minecraft. I would say that by now, I've been playing on it for about three months, maybe a bit more. It started out on some Classic servers, which is basically the free version of Minecraft, and eventually after about a week, I found this server called AlterGaming. I went there every day, and I guess it just stuck. It was only after a couple of weeks of playing on the server that I actually started to talk to people, and started to make friends. I was very dedicated to building, and so I never really found an interest in socializing. However, I found that this server was actually really friendly and it was actually tonnes of fun talking to the people there.
I have to admit that it felt kind of intimidating trying to talk to others that were a higher rank than me. I felt like an ant in a spiders web - Well, maybe that was a crap example, but you get what I mean. I felt welcome, just less experienced, like a child among young adults.
And then, in early November I got Beta Minecraft, so I could then play on the AlterGaming beta server, and it was amazing. I was so addicted that I eventually totally lost interest in Classic. Then I guess just the same as Classic, I stopped building as much and was just socializing constantly. I have to admit that I have an awesome Treehouse in progress, but I've hardly even started the branches. You get my point?
By the time it was coming upto christmas, I had already made so many new friends. The main two were Stoneagle and HitlerHater (a.k.a - Jared).
Even though it would have been nice to be more dedicated to the actual game, I'm so glad that I did more socializing than anything else, because by christmas I was voted to be a moderator on the server. I was so amazed that I was actually that popular (Apart from the fact that my mod application looked very professional ahem ahem), and nothing but benefit has come out of this.
So, on the 5th of January 2012 (2:15am) I started talking to someone from AlterGaming called Alchemized. I had spoken to him a couple of times on the classic server, but it was only when I was asking questions. I could tell he was quite high up, and as I mentioned before I used to avoid talking to those in higher ranks because I didn't want to seem desparate for attention (Like a child among young adults, right?).
So you'll never guess what happened when I got the promotion to Moderator on the Beta server. I got to know those who I didn't get the chance to talk to before (Like Gnar, Fang, Segris, Alch etc.), and that's when me and Alchemized started talking a lot more, and we became friends pretty quickly.
It all happened very quickly if I were to be honest. It was like one day we were innocently trying to find our way to his house in Minecraft (Me constantly getting lost and getting stuck in holes I might add), and the next thing I knew we were... Well, this:
Boudreau Devin: I feel good
Boudreau Devin: I got to talk to this beautiful, awesome British Pandasaur
Vex Skyler: D: *is jealous*
Boudreau Devin: Why?
Boudreau Devin: You just have to look in the mirror...
Vex Skyler: Whoever that person is in the mirror, Ima have to kill her now
Boudreau Devin: Why? I really don't want you to...
Boudreau Devin: I like talking to her a lot :D
Boudreau Devin: She's really nice.
Boudreau Devin: And funneh.
Vex Skyler: Well maybe Im talking to this amazing and incredibly handsome canadian guy right now.
Boudreau Devin: Ha. handsome?
Boudreau Devin: Well, now that I have my haircut...
Boudreau Devin: Oh wait
Boudreau Devin: Amazing and incredibly handsome
Boudreau Devin: WHO IS HE
Boudreau Devin: I would love to meet him
Boudreau Devin: and kick his ass...
Vex Skyler: But you musn't :x
Boudreau Devin: Why not?
Vex Skyler: Because his butt is too smexy
Boudreau Devin: Not as smexy as yours I bet.
Boudreau Devin: He's a douche, you should look into finding a new guy, mayhap, Me?
Vex Skyler: xL
Vex Skyler: Mebbe :3
Boudreau Devin: My smile just doubled in size
Seems like a long ass fucking conversation, but my point is that this was the next day, and then five days later we just decided to officially get together.
I haven't really said much about him, but I guess the only way to explain it is to say; You know one day when your stomach starts to slowly get painful, and you have no idea why. You start to get kind of dizzy, but there's no reason to be because you know you're perfectly healthy. I guess that's when you know. He knows, so I guess we both know. And you wont know unless you absolutely know what I'm talking about, because if this is making no sense to you at all, then you don't.
All you need to know right now, just in case you don't know, is that you will find out, you will know when it happens, and when it does you are going to feel like the luckiest person on Earth, just because you know.
I Like the Rain...
Alot of people don't like the rain. I don't know why I like it so much, but I guess it's because it's so peaceful and I just feel so great running around in it. Sure I look like a ratty dog when I get back into my house, only to find out that my parents are going to go ape-shit on my ass just because I've been splashing around and managed to get the carpet wet and muddy. I remember a recent walk in the rain that also made me ill for a few months. But it was all worth it, just for the fun and thrill of playing in the rain with a few college friends.
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