I know a few people have been saying to Alex that he needs to get over Brit because they're never going to get back together again, but they need to realise that whether Brit was a rebound relationship or not, Alex had, and still has, feelings for her. If it was that bad of a rebound then he wouldn't be so choked up about it. But he is, so there's obviously something there between them, whether some people like it or not.
Alex and I aren't best friends, but we have been talking alot lately and it sucks seeing him get this upset. He can't even speak to her for christ sake. Time is always a healer, and he's going to feel better about this eventually, but the fact is that he's upset now, and I know that I've had to get over the most traumatic things in my life without telling anyone about them, scared that I wouldn't get that support that I needed just because it's over a guy or another girl.
Things will be okay though. Things will always turn out for the better, and I'm glad that Alex can be happy because the only times that should matter are when you're smiling. You can't avoid the tragic things that happen in life, and they can't be ignored either, but I know that I always try to be happy because I know that whatever happens in my life, I have another chance to make things right. It's what makes us emotionally and mentally stronger as human beings. Even if it just means that my smile is passed on to another for a single moment, something is being done to make those around me happier with their lives.
I'm going through a story at the moment. It's about this little girl called Malaika, and the first chapter tells us about the relationship she had with her father, or currently has with him. It's very unclear so far. It's all memories, and it's very light, but you can't really tell whether the memories happened a long time ago or recently because of the nature of the script. I can't really tell where it's going either, it's rather mysterious and vague. But I like it, so I'll put some here.
I always find that it's best to read out loud. Also, here's some music that might make this story mean something >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8u4VLk0iTI
She felt the grass between her fingertips; so soft, just like the cool breeze that brushed against her cheeks and flowed through her hair, making each strand ripple like each droplet of water that gently fell into a river. Her expression already soft with the peaceful twinkle in dawns air had grown content, the rise of the side of her mouth created a beautiful smile that could only be triggered by some sort of memory or occurrence. That silk touch against her cheek reminded her of how her father consoled her. A gentle tap on her sweet button nose and a kiss planted upon her forehead.
He had once told her that there was a land above the land, a place where the grass was tinted a gray-yellow, and a place where you could feel the cool clouds escape through your fingers. This land was the only place where true serenity could be sought and pure peace would be found among conflict that would soon take over,
'Malaika...'
Gentle words seeped in to her mind, echo's of reassurance and images of his handsome smile that was square but truthful. His embrace was warm as he whispered sweet lullaby's into her ear. Safe and sound, he always said; safe and sound in prosperity, with no marks to signify the dread of the past. Always looking forward into the dawns misted light, never looking back into the eyes of fear and dead. Fear and dead, never to be seen. Even if you were blind, he said; even if you were blind you would be able to seek this land and feel its presence. It is where we go, it is where we all go. No need to be scared anymore,
'No need to be scared anymore. Daddy is here, daddy will keep you safe and sound. No one can lay hands upon skin so fine; delicacy, and hand on heart. A precious angel whose soul is kind; shallow waters have never seen such purity in art.'
She remembered those words and none other before he left. Sometimes she would try to remember if he had once said goodbye to her, that he loved her, but none other than those words spoken could be dreamt up in this lush fairytale. She would dream within dreams of the land above the land, white lights blinding her purity from the dark shadows where nightmares could creep in and steal her away from her memories.
Her father is the only true man that she had ever known to exist. Gunfire could not drown out his words of wisdom. In the bleakness of December, the ember ashes became flakes of white dust that fell from the sun-beamed sky, and his word would be the last word that existed.
So yeah, that's it, that's the first part of the story. It doesn't seem to have anywhere to go, or rather it doesn't feel like an actual story, but I guess it will have somewhere to go. Enya is pretty powerful, words alone. Words do mean quite a lot, so I like to choose them carefully. They can be misinterpreted so easily, and I try to make my point as clear as possible, whatever that may be. There's always meaning behind everything I write, whether I end up realizing this later on or I have a specific purpose from the beginning. I guess that's why I prefer writing about feelings rather than events, because feelings have so much more meaning unless an event is explained in such a way that a meaning comes from it. It's why I've never been particularly good as writing songs or poems, because my thoughts come out in bounds of descriptive sentences and emotions that can go on for paragraphs and paragraphs. For example, what I'm writing now was originally planned to be a few sentences, and look how descriptive it is now.
I guess I've had thoughts lately that names are pretty powerful too, and you can't really excape the concept of a name because it's something that someone will always remember you by. I thought that Vex would be a perfect name to put on everything. Just because it signified a huge part of my past that changed me extensively, I thought that maybe I could change the meaning of the name in to something positive. What it meant to me was something corruptive and rebellious, and I tried to change that like I was trying to change the past.
I don't want that anymore. I don't want to be known as 'Vex Pandasaur' or 'Vex Skyler'. It's not me, and it never should have been me, and I shouldn't try to make it into something that it isn't. Anyone who isn't myself and one other person wouldn't have a clue as to what I'm talking about, because they weren't a part of what we went through.
My point is that I should start fresh if I want to start fresh concerning College, friends, and even a relationship. I should have done this six months ago when I became someone that I should have been all along, not someone that I was pretending to be. This is me now, and I would have doubts of that if it weren't true. I see reason, and the reason within this is that I can now move on. Even if it's just a silly name that is holding me back slightly, it's still a hold back.
I have another name in mind, it's just something that came to me just as I was about to fall asleep. The best things come to me just as I'm about to drift off. The name is Newpie (Like: *NEW-pea*). It may sound a bit familiar to some as I've been watching a lot of PewDiePie's videos, and I realized this not too long ago, but it actually comes from the word Newb (as in Newbie). That was my first thought when I was thinking about the name. It's really random, and I honestly have as much of a clue as anyone else, but I guess it's cute.
I just think it's funny that Devin had no clue what I was talking about earlier when I mentioned it. I guess the memory was so vivid that I thought I had talked about it before. My near-dream deep thinking isn't usually remembered, so I'm surprised a lot of this has been, because it's just talking about names.
So yeah. Newpie is good enough for a lifetime I guess.
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