I miss you.

After the hours of thinking I do while working, I've realized I was wrong again. It was the same as last time too... I'm trying to figure everything out in my head and I try to type over and over and it always seems wrong so I backspace and try again but it never works out. I just want to say so much so I'm just going to type with no filter right now and hope that maybe you make some sense of these thoughts. I love you, I do. I want to be with you, it's true. [Had to make it rhyme just to try and make you laugh]. Even with these feelings for Candice, my feelings for you have never gone away. When you wanted me to choose, I was scared and wanted the closest thing [distance-wise] and that was Candice. I'm an idiot for that, but at least now I had the time to think it through so that I can know how much of an idiot I was and not be able to go back in change it but I guess this is why I am trying to write this... Trying to go back in time. Anyways, my point is that I can't choose either of you. I can't be with Candice, we can't be together and we barely even acknowledge that we like each other because we can't handle the distance... And she'll be busy with stuff for a while so it isn't like I can visit.

But then there is you. We dated for over a year... and I loved every moment of it. Then you were gone, then you were back and now you're gone again and I hate this. I want those spectacular moments with you back. I'm sorry that it takes me being an idiot and losing you and hurting you over and over to make me realize these things but I'm trying my best to just try and be happy and sometimes I'm wrong. I'm sorry, and I don't know what else to say now....

I just hope maybe you read this...

Please, come back..